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June 01 high school的最后一个月 展望&回首今天是六一儿童节诶!! 怎么现在才发现, tsk tsk
都是chem organic test搞的, 幸亏今年chem是从redox开始学然后学的是calculation的那些units,最后才是organic, 要不然我肯定在第一个test完就drop了 -_-''
这次考的太惨了啊, 又有那种很"有心无力"的感觉, not a good feeling at all, 刚开始的naming还好, digging into my memory, I still sorta have an idea on how to do them. 然后就爽了，＂哪两个organic compounds在一起都nail polish remover的smell＂ 呃．．．不会， next, 什么amine，（唯一逃的一堂chem，就讲的这个，反正我是跟amino相关的是什么都不会， 然后考试里还有很多这个．．．．-_-''）后面还有一堆关于polymer的, 我是连问什么都没搞太清楚, 不过也没关系,就是知道问什么也不知道怎么answer, 所以doesn't matter.
对啊, I did leave half of the test paper blank, there's no need for guessing, dont argue with me on this, if u can guess right for an organic polymer, then go ahead, I can't.
And since I left half of the test blank, I seriously had a lot of time left, there's really nothing for me to do, so to kill time, I was counting my marks to see if I can pass.....-_-'' and after like 20 minutes, I came to a conclution that if I get ALL the things I wrote down on the test right, then I'll be barelly passing, hahaha, man, I'm basically saying I failed for sure.
man, I can't believe myself, I did this again, going to a test without preparing at all..... well, in this case, I started studying from 10:30 to 12:00 the very day of the test. But this is worse than not preparing at all. It's like I look at a question, I know it's in my notebook, the one I was holding half an hr ago, but I didn't look at it!!! This feeling is worse, b/c the answer was right in front of me 30 minutes ago, and I chose not to look at it. eh... hate this
So enough whining about the screwed up test, I'm gonna move on to the consequences of this/these screwed up test(s). From midterm to final, I have 19 marks for 2 courses to drop, it means that if the sum of marks dropped for the 2 courses is within 19 marks, I'll still be in the same scholarship range. BUT now, it's getting so freaking close to 19 marks, or more...... Which basically is the same as saying, hey, I just lost 1k!!!!!!
Hey, ppl, dont worry, I'm not crazy.
I wonder why is every single one of my blog entry so long....
ok, moving on....
I know that pretty much every single thing we do comes with an oppotunity cost(the cost of doing this thing, but not doing something instead), so yeah, what I did is (only for a couple of weeks) sleep 'til 11 am everyday, and what I should have done instead is studying, and if we put a dollar value on my oppotunity cost, it would be 1000 bucks, since I'm very close to lose the sholarship...T_T, oh! no, more than that, since I applied that queen aiming for the top scholarship, that's usually 3000 bucks......WTF? am I about to lose 4000 bucks????? There should be a sholarship called "dropping to the bottom", I bet I'll get that one for sure~
There's nothing I'm more obsessed with than money, and I think I'm about to lose 4000 bucks, imagine the pain.......
yeah,yeah, u may say: the semester hasn't ended yet, it's not too late. True, unless I manage to have 48 hrs in one day, or I wont have enough time to finish everything I pushed to the last day. Btw, ppl in my chem ISP group, just a reminder, our 40 minutes presentation is next friday, and we haven't even started yet......
好了，我回首完了，展望一下吧
I dont want my marks to drop below the point where I lose 4k. So I'm gonna start doing some work, hopefully.
I dont have any expection about what life in university will be like yet, I just hope they have a bigger swimming pool.
Oh, yeah, living with an artist is something to look forward to, ha~
dont have any fun plans for the summer yet, gonna take accounting in summer school, (if they dont cancel the course), and if I do, I'll have to get up at 6:30 or 7am every weekday. But it's ok, I rather be busy and have something to do than just stay home. And I know a good and cheap restaurant in that area, which means I dont have to eat instant noodles everyday like what I'm doing right now.
So yeah, summer school should keep me occupied for the first month, and I'll need to find something to do for August. No, spending time with my boyfriend is not an option, since he's never gonna have time. And Shirley's going back to China, Dian dian's probably gonna spend everyday with her bf planning on how their sweet sweet future is gonna be like. So I probably wont see her that often. And Jenny, donno what she's gonna do during summer, hope she doesn't fly off to another country or suddenly meet a new guy and play the "ignore all my girlfriends" game. Ha, jenny, dont hit me~~
oh, wait, there's something I should do in August ----getting my G2, man, I'm good at postponing things. As for the car I was gonna buy, that's loooooonnnnnggg story, basically I haven't decided yet.
OK, there, if u read up to this line, I have to say I admire u. You will be so successful in doing things that requires a lot of patience. Ahahaha! good luck everybody~~ February 06 About this Semester今天是exam review day, 拿到成绩以后觉得好象要做点什么事情来纪念一下. Gr.12的一半就这样过去了. 所以呢, the easiest way of "doing something to remember this day" is to write a new entry for my "long time no use" blog.
上个学期, 本来有3个math, 一个Gr.12 phy,还有一个Gr.11 eng. 一共5 门课. 但是一个term下来, 发现如果继续这样忙下去肯定busted. 除了data的分还能见人以为,别的都很烂..... data分可以见人是因为老师白给2分free mark...........calc奇低啊....midterm前就2个考试,一个考了70多,一个是80多.......so busted.........Geomtry 就更无语了, 那个night skl在好远好远的地方, 做车要1.5 hr. 而且midterm才只有90.....Phy就更别提了, KU 还满简单, 但是ms. lew的communication question把我弄死了, 每次MC就刚刚pass或者60%. 难怪midterm那么低. GR.11 ENG没什么可说的, pass万岁!! I got 74 for midterm, to my standard, that's good!! 最后在midterm report card发下来后的第5天, 本人做出来了一个很英明的决定. 就是drop phy~~ Glad I did~~
然后还有一个要烦的事就是toefl. 对某些同胞们来说, toefl这个万恶的东西有多白痴我就不用再重复了. 虽然我根本没花什么时间在toefl上, (I meant to.........)但是心里还是压着什么东西的感觉. 一月13号那天,再次来到了熟悉的考场, 又是4个小时........不是到是怎么活过来的. 阅读不夸张哦, 真的跟天书一样, 所有的都跟history, architecture, astronomy, geography 之类的东西有关, SO NONSENSE!! 但是还是熬过来了, 最后居然有28/30, 真是没想到. 口语是第2无语的, 一个正常人怎么会喜欢没事闲的对着microphone讲自己的most memorable event in the childhood. SO BS! 哎....希望需要考toefl的同学们早日脱离苦海.
要烦的事当然不止一件, GR.12 ENG怎么办? 当然不能在学校上了, 如果在学校上的话, 也就是个6,70s.....所以去private skl is a good option. 当然了, private skl registration也不是一帆风顺的, 刚开始是想去shirley去过的那个学校,可以那里不让我去因为I haven't finished gr. 11. 然后我就在电话里跟他们磨了半天, 最终他们同意让我去only if my counselor could sign a form. 然后我就去找mr. Takada, 他刚要帮我签的时候呢, 就pop出一句"Just wait one sec, I need to ask Mr. Bugden about it. " 我当时就有种不好的预感, 然后, oh 天啊, 他回来以后就死活不肯给我签.......当然我没有那么容易就give up, 我又去磨Mr. Bugden, 可是这个老不死的死活都不改口........哎...那天真是想杀人了, 上个private skl还这么难, McDonald这么做business早晚倒闭!! 最后, maybe it's because of my determination or my luck, and thx to Eline, I went to the one near Fairview, and it's cheaper too, lol.
oh well. toefl和gr.12 eng 的问题解决以后, 事情就简单多了. Second term 我的data可真是slack off啊, statistics unit的pop quiz有好几个都不及格(一共也没几个)......本来以为pop quiz不worth a lot, 最后的presentation好好做就可以了, 但是天啊.....这个想法是很错误的, pop quiz worth的比presentation还多. 最后data居然才.....晕啊...........是谁跟我说的for data, final肯定比midterm高, 我drop了3 percent!!!! 不过还好老师是havaris, she usually adds 2 marks to everyone, I hope it happens this time.........
For my screwed up calc, it turned out to be not that bad afterall. Thx to shirley, she made me think it's still possible to get above 90 after screwing up a big test really badly. And thanx dian dian for making me feel really bad about calc the whole time, lol, j/k.
Geometry turned out the best it can be, seriously. Thx to my geometry teacher, he's a really nice guy, but I still can't say his name. -_-'', because of him, I kinda get what 3-D geometry looks like, I think I'm better at visualizing things than before. And I just love his policy: u get perfect for the exam, then u get 99% for the course. Yes, I did get perfect, wow lucky me, never did any work in class, how better can it be!!!
In conclusion, I'm done with high school math with an average of 93.3 percent. Gr. 12 English is in process, I think the teacher likes me, so the mark wouldn't be bad. Toefl is done forever ever ever with a mark of 109, it's good enough for me to get into any university. This semester, I have Economics, Chem, Phy, and business leadership. Hope to get good marks in them, should be easy.
YES, university!!!! here I come!!!!!!!!!!!
Helena
Feb. 6, 2007 October 22 开学了快两个月了,总结一下吧...真是闲的哦开学快两个月,我so far 还是one piece,值得庆祝啊.
最近觉得自己怪怪的,特别喜欢"晚上11点回到家,糊里糊涂的写完作业,洗澡,睡觉,一睡就睡到第2天8:00.... 起床以后忙忙活活的赶到学校."的rountine.
爱死night school了, 学校好大好漂亮, 我第3次去的时候时候还会在教学楼里迷路..... 特别喜欢学校里的一个不起眼的小路,旁边有棵枫树,每次从那走都感觉好美好美的. 呵呵. 其次呢,是老师特别nice, 感觉上有点像nasrin或者rendawa类型的. 不过讲课的感觉可比他们强一百倍. 哈哈. 同学就更好了, 我和两个学art的女孩, 一个在学make up artistry的女孩，还有一个ＲＵＳＳＩＡＮ guy（just to be honest, he's really good-looking）的关系不错（当然还有别人了，不过就不一一说了，反正看这篇东西的同学们都不认识他们．）．呵呵，cann't believe i'm having sooo much fun in night school. 满后悔怎么过去没去上night school．
这么喜欢night school，也可能是因为平时晚上回家后很无聊吧，心里会空空的．上night school的nights，至少有人在我身边说话，不愿去想的事情自然就想不起来了．
day school，还是那样，上午上课的时候想着中午吃饭，下午上课的时候想着放学回家吃饭．哈哈哈．
又觉得自己怪怪的，现在第１喜欢有night school的nights，然后喜欢平时上学的日子，最不喜欢周五，六，日．奇怪了，跟过去整个相反．奇怪奇怪．．．．
这学期有五门课，下学期还打算上５门课．而且我已经都把假期要做什么都plan出来了，这样等以后再回过头来看我的gr.１２，会觉得很值得，time well spent. 唯一不爽的就是没时间打工了，我都快穷死了．．．帐户里就剩２位数了．好期待下学期mid－term以后啊，那时候就可以打工了，做lifeguard, 然后攒钱还债哦．．．until把债还了，我才可以买想要的东东．
其实这么一看，我这日子过的还是不错的，有滋有味，哈哈，除了周末太闲了以外．不过闲也不是坏事啊．恩．呵呵, 本来可以利用周末学车的，不过驾照不知道哪去了.......
ps.最近是不是halloween快到了，怎么哪里都是鬼片？对于我这种经常走夜路和晚上总是一个人在家的人真是#^%&.....
ps2,我写的东西怎么感觉是跳来跳去的?! 乖乖...这就叫做思维活跃啊,哈哈哈哈. (路人-_-'')
ps3,我的sp怎么是这种颜色......无语.....懒的改了......
September 04 开学啦!!!Hello~~ everybody
Tomr is the first day of a new school year!! (which obviously everyone knows)
I wish everyone (and myself) all the best!!!
let's go!!! yeah~~~~ Fighting !!!
May 23 May.又过了一个月, 现在的状态用一句话总结就是: 心里满满的,压的我很难受, 脑袋是正好相反, 空空荡荡的. lol.....
用一个词来形容呢,就是堕落, 没有正经写过一次作业, 晚上回家时间都在网上浪费了, text book感觉几年没碰过了, 上次写作业的时候都遥远的让我感觉可能这从来都没发生过.........
不知道拿自己怎么办才好, 一种觉得自己很失败的感觉已经把我淹没了. 不论我在那, 做什么, 都有这种甩都甩不掉的感觉-----"失败感". 不知道是什么时候起,我的心理承受能力变的这么差, 已经无法和那种无处不在的失败感抗衡了, 就象一块sponge掉到了河里, 吸了满满的水, 好重.
时间, 当你想抓住它的时候, 它却正在你的指缝中划过. 这句话用来形容我现在对时间的感觉是再好不过了, 越想抓住它做点什么事,越是抓不住, 然后再抬头看表的时候都快半夜了, 然后又顶着空空的脑袋睡去了.
发现我对自己一点控制力都没有, 很想做什么事, 可是反方向的力总是大于正方的力, 最后的结果就是又什么都没做. 是不是我想的太多, 行动却太少,弄的很不平衡, 所以才有现在的结果....
最近就是这样, 空白
2006年五月, 低谷期.
p.s今天本来要补chem作业的, 但头痛了一天, 回家就睡, 然后又什么都没做.......
April 19 老天啊, 用不用这样对我啊???啊啊啊, so screwed, 发发牢骚,可能会感觉好点吧. 谁知道呢.
开门见山,这个学期对我来说就是torture!!!!!!!
firstly, geometry is just so stupid, why is dulmage so picky on steps, does he feel bad giving ppl good marks. Also the stuff I learned has no practical meaning at all!!!! I cant think of anytime where I can use these stuff in real life. IT'S JUST SOOOOO STUPID!!!!! and it killes so much time, 'cause hw takes forever to complete, and they're extremely boring!!!!! same reason: it doesn't have any practical meaning!!!, why de hell do I care about dot product or cross product.
Then, compare to geometry, phy is relatively easy, but why cant I get high mark, it's always like I feel quite good, but end up getting a really ugly mark. THIS SUX!!!! so after spending all that time on hw, which no one had bothered to do, I still end up getting such low marks!!!!, it's just not worth it. SO what I've decided to do is, stop doing any work, so then if I get a bad mark, I wouldn't feel too bad about it.
NOW, something outside of school.
本人又荣幸的成为了无业游民for ３ weeks. 这绝对是自找的．
然后就是钱包丢了，里面有钥匙和银行卡，还有ttc card,和学生卡，幸亏我没傻到把所有的卡都放进去，要不真的sb了．不过这几天总是大门进不去，然后今天发现新配的钥匙好难用，用了５分钟我才把门＂撬＂开．．．．．．．
哎， 还是学校那点事，烦死了快，是不是我把expectation设的太高，如果拿不到９０s，high 80s也没什么不好，何必那么难为自己呢．哎，有些东西是看的越重，期望越高，失望也就越大．
还好geometry在第３个考试后，我就已经看清楚形式了．所以也没期望什么．要不这么受打击早就去撞墙了．
现在我是前景渺茫, 估计想明年毕业是不太可能了, 如果我明年一年都像现在这样stressed. 估计要折寿3年的. 哎,我还想多活几年呢, 所以让自己轻松点, 也没什么不好的. 我又不恨自己. 而且如果继续这么stressed, 可能明年会screw everything up. 一样没法毕业.
前一段时间好累, long weekend过了跟没过一样, 还是很累. 现在呢, 好多了, 因为我决定从今以后不再做作业了. 只要保证pass就行了. so.... download some games, and enjoy. 恩, 不要觉得这是堕落, 这只是找到了个balance而已. 没必要给自己那么大压力, 既然分数和努力不成正比, 付出的和回报的相差很远。那如果不做任何homework的话, 拿什么分都是好的. 恩, 就这么决定了.
since when I'm so negative, lol.
这个学期赶快过去吧!!!
March 13 该更新了, 不然space都长毛了最近不知道在忙什么......这学期开始才几个星期而已, 可是却觉得好象过了几年一样, 再然后就觉得这个学期已经快过去了,后来才想起来这个学期可以说才刚刚开始.... 晕.....
终于迎来我们的march break!! yeh!!!!
可是我美丽可爱的march break被可恶的麦当劳无情的给毁了!!!!!!!! 我恨麦当劳, 那帮managers的虚伪面孔. 看着就恶心.....
march break的最大目标就是考G1. 一定一定!! again, 我恨麦当劳! 占用我这么多天.
今天去滑冰, 刚开始的时候,简直要有heart attack了...... 就是那种失去平衡然后trying to regain it, 太紧张了...... 当然, 熟悉那种冰上的感觉以后就好多了.
玩是肯定的了,no matter what. 哈哈哈啊哈哈哈啊.
最后, 祝大家有个great march break.
February 15 更新了，没话找话说了今天是二○○六年贰月拾伍号，我"offically" become 17, (clap, clap, clap)，至于为什么要put"offically"，估计认识我的人都知道，就不说了(这句是后加的,因为我发现很多认识我的人也不知道, 所以还是说一下..... 我所有document上的生日日期比我真实生日大10个月,所以就是我刚刚16两个月,所有的document上就都显示是17了.)。不知道17了能怎么样，一样去不了酒吧和赌场，所以有什么用呢。不过这样继续下去的话，"offically"成年的日子就不远了!!(claping...)，这样以后skip就不用家长的note了。哈哈哈。
靠，当初谁给我改的生日，真tmd sb.
恩，这件事就说到这里， 下一个： 明天GEOMETRY考试，是个所谓的quiz. well.. well.. well.. 一定要好好考！也要对得起我付出的那些时间。恩， good luck to me! ! ^_^ January 22 啊哈哈, 祝大家考试顺利!实在是不想说我们现在是多么多么的忙，作业是多么多么的压４人，老师有多suck，或者cafe里的东西有多难吃，而且还死贵，呵呵．因为越这么说我们的情绪越会低落．
所以！说点好听了，大家听好了：
第一，要祝愿大家考试都成功，拿到理想的grades．
第２，学期末要have fun， 当然是after exams．
３，下学期，课上要有多多的认识人，大家在一起才有意思．
４，大家都吃的白白胖胖的， 哈哈
Even though, during this time of year, life isn't so great, and school sucks, but that's just part of life! Think about the bright side! Good Luck everybody! December 31 今年的最后一天！倒记时进入尾声，今天是今年的最后一天，相信不用我废话大家也知道这个.....
哈哈,还是写一下我自己的目标吧:
祝福当然也要写, 先祝愿上张帖留言的人的梦想可以成真: Sophie, 希望你可以回国, 还能找到你爱和爱你的人! Steven, 祝愿你可以学习进步,心想事成! junjian, 那个人最大的愿望是打好snooker, 而且已经开始行动了, 所以我相信这个目标不难实现! "我是乖宝宝", 那孩子希望周杰伦能来这里开演唱会..... 还是有可能的吧.!.. 小鱼, 她希望学习好再找个工作, 好, 祝你愿望成真!
当然不能就祝福几个人, 所以以下祝福是送给大家的:
____________________________________________________________________________
需要点人气, 希望,愿望和祝福才会加快成真哦!
December 27 Happy New Year!!12月有31天，今天是12月27日，还有4天就到新年了，倒记时ing！
如果可能的话，大家留言可以把新年的理想，愿望和目标写下来。
我的愿望已经在上张贴写过咯，就是学习工作和玩，一样都不差！ December 14 记念我的15岁今天是我15岁的最后一天了，感慨一下，也总结一下，总算还记得我过过的这段日子，不会到最后什么印象都没有.................
去年的生日赶上chiristmas party, 反正也不认识谁(认识也不熟)，就那么过了。礼物好象也没什么，就是记得妈给我买了一堆糖。
然后，随这时间的增长，认识的人也多了，知道，懂得的事情也多了，反正现在看那时的自己，真是不明白当时在担心，在烦恼什么.........
15岁的愿望是找到bf,可惜没有达成，无所谓了，反正在感情方面我一向是幼儿园水平。
15岁的那年做的最多的事肯定是上网和电脑........
完成了什么事情那：找到了工作，在差二个月到16的时候，不过不管怎么样，那也是15啊，然后英语是比来的时候好多了，这点太obvious了，其后，回国的一段时间，感受了一下不同的环境和亲情，友情的珍贵。
一年就这么过去了，唉，我是否有长大？诶，不知道大家有没有这种感觉，就是之前什么都不感觉，可是刚过了生日那天就觉得长大好多。
生日愿望：学习，工作，玩 ， 一样不能差。 December 10 星期总结这星期真**不是人过的，从周一到周四每天都工作，回家都11：00pm了。还要写作业（多数情况是上网，就写过一次作业），1点多睡觉，第二天，跟本起不来，就是那种困死了，累死了，这辈子都想赖在床上的感觉，最后是困的抓狂，就想一头撞墙。造成的结果就是连续迟到5天，每天迟到大约半个小时，我不知道期末的report card能不能看，迟到次数肯定巨多。不管了，然后就是上课特爱睡觉，还好我的睡相没有很差，至少不会流口水，就是有人叫我的时候喜欢拍桌子..........
然后唯一的一天不用工作(Fri.),去和点点和shirley唱K去了,还满开心, 她们唱的真是不错,比某些人好多了...... 就是彪高音, 弄的嗓子有点痛........
今天礼拜六, 还要大早上去工作, 六个半小时.......f***! 早上刚起床就去工作,等off的时候已经快太阳下山了.........
明天, hopefully, 我会把一周的作业补了, 还要复习,因为下星期有4个tests. 然后, damn, 还要工作, 5个小时. 无语了...... **麦当劳, 一帮**, ***, 就知道吃, 都噎死吧.
恩, 郁闷的一周,马上就要结束了!!!!! 哈哈哈哈哈........
November 24 人生一段路有一对兄弟，他们的家住在80层楼上。有一天他们外出旅行回家，发现大楼停电了！虽然他们背着大包的行李，但看来没有什么别的选择，于是哥哥对弟弟说，我们就爬楼梯上去！于是，他们背着两大包行李开始爬楼梯。爬到 20楼的时候他们开始累了，哥哥说"包包太重了，不如这样吧，我们把包包放在这里，等来电后坐电梯来拿。"于是，他们把行李放在了20楼，轻松多了，继续向上爬。他们有说有笑地往上爬，但是好景不长，到了40楼，两人实在累了。想到还只爬了一半，两人开始互相埋怨，指责对方不注意大楼的停电公告，才会落得如此下场。他>们边吵边爬，就这样一路爬到了60楼。到了60楼，他们累得连吵架的力气也没有了。弟弟对哥哥说，"我们不要吵了，爬完它吧。"于是他们默默地继续爬楼，终于80楼到了！兴奋地来到家门口兄弟俩才发现他们的钥匙留在了20 楼的包包里了. 有人说，这个故事其实就是反映了我们的人生： 20岁之前，我们活在家人、老师的期望之下，背负着很多的压力、包袱，自己也不够成熟、能力不足，因此步履难免不稳。 20岁之后，离开了众人的压力，卸下了包袱，开始全力以赴地追求自己的梦想，就这样愉快地过了20年。 可是到了40岁，发现青春已逝，不免产生许多的遗憾和追悔，于是开始遗憾这个、惋惜那个、抱怨这个、嫉恨那个.就这样在抱怨中度过20年。 到了60岁，发现人生已所剩不多，于是告诉自己不要在抱怨了，就珍惜剩下的日子吧！于是默默地走完了自己的余年。 到了生命的尽头，才想起自己好象有什么事情没有完成.原来，我们所有的梦想都留在了20岁的青春岁月。 November 20 zt她觉得这种思念怪怪的，和原来恋爱时的感觉不一样：当她恋爱时，那种思念就象火一样炽烈，不断的燃烧着，吞噬着自己的一切，占据了自己全部的灵魂，除了思念在也不能做任何事了；而现在呢，她说不清，她从未感到还有这样一种思念是淡淡的，有点虚无但又无处不在，不需要付出什么却总能感到一种温情，就象在房间的角落里摆上了一束百合，淡淡的幽香弥散了整个房间，却又不会让你刻意的去想，或者让你感到不自在。 November 15 zt again“某一天，我们听到他的名字时不再感到肉体的痛苦，看到他的笔迹也不会发抖，不会在街上为了遇见他而改变行程，情感现实渐渐变成心理现实，成为我们的精神现实，那就是冷漠和遗忘，没有任何伤口和血迹，爱情就这样消逝了---(普鲁斯特)” November 14 zt 算你的年龄哦
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